I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
