Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
