what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
