Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
