I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
