Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
