did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
