I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
