who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
