Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
