Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
this is an emotional support booty call
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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