i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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