I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
