some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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