3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She bit a glass in half.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
