I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
