ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
