turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
