for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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