Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the condom got lost in my hair
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
