I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
