i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
