the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
