38 yer olds are good kisserssss
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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