Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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