I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
