The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
