i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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