I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
