ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
