I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
