I showed him my bush... on skype.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
