Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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