note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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