when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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