He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
