on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
God, I missed his penis.
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