"it" just moved
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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