Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
