I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
