This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
