physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize