also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize