I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
