No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
