And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
