sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am available for nakedness
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
