i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
