If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
