just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
