I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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