Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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