i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
