you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
