Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize