I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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