So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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