physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize