So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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