some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
