There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
