My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
