was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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