I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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