The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
