matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
