I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
