im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
