You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
