i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
