There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
