Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
