If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
