11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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