Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
