i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
