I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Let's get the cat blown out
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
