That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
