I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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